Hvad er Gottman Parterapi?

The Gottman method has helped thousands of couples, worldwide, to get the relationship they want, with better communication and more love.

The goals of the Gottman method include increased closeness and friendship behavior, being able to handle conflict productively, and building a life of shared meaning together.

The Gottman Method is built on the results of a lifetime of research in many thousands of couples. Specifically, Gottman and his research team have studied over 3,000 couples and followed them for around 25 years. The result of this research is described as a series of principles for a good relationship, which can be adapted to each couple's special patterns and challenges. The principles on which the Gottman method is based are the following:

Build love maps: Good relationships succeed in building an awareness of each other's worlds as they move through life: how does my partner think and feel? What is everyday life like for them? What are their values, hopes, aspirations and stress like?

Express Love and Admiration: Well-functioning couples are able to appreciate and admire most aspects of their partner's behavior and learn to live with differences, and they maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.

Attention to each other. Conversation patterns of interest and respect. Successful couples maintain a 20:1 ratio of expressing interest or recognition to ignoring conversational invitations. This is called the "emotional bank account".

Accept influence: According to Gottman's research, couples who consider the other partner's preferences and are willing to compromise and adapt are the happiest couples. Being able to yield and maintain mutual influence while avoiding power struggles helps couples maintain a balance of power that feels reasonable and builds trust.

Solve Resolvable Problems: Couples who can find compromise in conflict resolution problems use five tactics. They soften the conflict initiation so that the beginning of the conversation leads to a satisfying conclusion. They offer and respond to repair attempts or behaviors that maintain the emotional connection and emphasize "we/us" over individual needs. They effectively soothe themselves and their partner. They use compromise and negotiation skills. They are tolerant of each other's vulnerabilities and ineffective conversational habits, and focus on shared concern for the well-being of the relationship.

Manage conflicts and overcome "hard knots": The Gottman method helps couples manage, not resolve, conflicts. Conflict is seen as inherent in the relationship and does not go away. Even in happy couples, the majority of their conflicts, 69%, remain unresolved, meaning that the disagreements are present throughout the relationship, but are only addressed as needed and with respect for each other's differences. These recurring themes become part of the couple's shared landscape and are kept in perspective so they don't destroy the love

Create shared meaning: In the best relationships, both partners experience that their lives are enriched by each other and their shared history. This helps them find meaning and gives hope even when it is difficult.

The Gotmman method of couples therapy is about teaching couples to become successful in their communication and love by integrating these patterns and principles into their life together. Gottman has developed a wide range of exercises, tools and training to help couples master love and stay happily together for a lifetime.

The article is based on John Gottman's own introduction, which you can find in English here:https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-the-gottman-method-of-relationship-therapy/

Psychotherapy Networker, a professional journal, recognized Gottman as one of the ten most influential therapists of the past 25 years.

Researchers have followed John Gottman and his research and therapy for decades and have continually confirmed the positive results for couples, both in the short and long term. Read more about research results here:The Effectiveness of the Gottman Method - Research | The Gottman Institute